At 17 years old, I missed a GOLDEN opportunity to have my 4 years of college paid for!

When opportunities knock, we often hesitate to answer because of doubts, fears, or excuses. For me, it was the fear of not being good enough, of not fitting in, that held me back. I had a chance to attend a prestigious event at 17. But instead of seizing the opportunity, I let my insecurities get the best of me. 

I was on a trip with 15 other teens who were selected as “the future.” We were down south and got invited to a gala reception where some benefactors wanted to meet us. We had several events that day and had to change on the road. I had a sharp tailored suit, and I was in my physical prime, so you know I was looking good. BUT while I was getting dressed, I realized I made a huge mistake: I had forgotten my dress shoes at the hotel. So, there I was in this beautiful suit my mother paid way more money for than she could afford and dirty white sneakers.

My anxiety was high as we approached the event because, well, these were southern white people, and I was a Negro boy from DC with dirty shoes.

The fear of being judged overwhelmed me. We got to the event, and I refused to go inside. Karen, my Jewish mother and the organizer of the trip, was pissed with me and admonished me to grow up and come inside. At that moment, the fear of judgment over my shoe choice outweighed the possible gain of showing up for myself.

The memory of that missed opportunity lingered, haunting me for years with the realization that my fears had prevented me from seizing a chance to grow and succeed.

Do you know this feeling?

Do you have opportunities in your rearview mirror that you missed for irrational or insignificant reasons? Do the memories of those failures haunt you? Do you beat yourself up about it? Does it fuel your negative self-talk?

If you can answer yes to any of those…keep reading!

How do we break free from this cycle of self-doubt and missed opportunities? It starts with a mindset shift.

1. We need to recognize our worth and embrace the risks that come with showing up for ourselves. 

2. It's about stepping out of our comfort zones and embracing the unknown, knowing that growth and fulfillment lie on the other side of fear. One way to facilitate this shift is through reading books authored by experts that offer invaluable insights into overcoming limitations and maximizing our potential. A couple of my favorites are "Limitless" by Jim Kwik and "The Gap and The Gain" by Benjamin Hardy, which can facilitate this shift in mindset.

3. Forgive yourself for the past. First, you can't change the past. Forgiveness says, “You don't owe me anymore, and the debt is canceled.” That guilt you feel about past situations is a debt you have placed on yourself. The truth, though, is you can't repay the debt of past missed opportunities. Today, you can forgive yourself and resolve to be better. Then forgive yourself again the next time you “fail.”

You can master the three points above and still find yourself experiencing imposter syndrome, self-sabotaging, or having self-limiting thoughts and moments. The battle is constant.

I just had one….

I received an invitation from Mike Filsaime to speak at his esteemed mastermind event. Mike is an OG in the Digital Marketing game, and I know he’s pulled together some high-level entrepreneurs for his mastermind.

I’ve spoken on stages like these before at Founders Board and other events. At all of those events, though, most of the crowd knew me before I took the stage. At Mike’s event, I may only know Mike.

Moments after getting off the call with Mike, doubts clouded my mind.

Who am I to be in front of such a room? What would I share that they don't already know? Would I measure up to expectations? Could I truly make an impact? The fear of falling short loomed large, casting shadows of uncertainty.

I had an honest freak-out for about 90 minutes.

Then I remembered… In our conversation, I showed Mike our content framework, and he said his people would love to see that.

His invitation came because he knows I would provide value… At that moment, I recognized my worth.

Even though I've outgrown worrying about my sneakers (I present in a black t-shirt and tennis shoes everywhere), it does not mean doubts and moments of hesitation don't creep in. But when they do, I know now that I have to trust in my unique value and push past my limiting thoughts.

I’m often reminded that growth happens outside of our comfort zone.

And because of this, I want to make it different. Here are the things that I do to navigate these hurdles and step confidently into my potential: 

1. Decide it's time to grow: Acknowledge that it's time to step out of your comfort zone and embrace new opportunities for personal development.

2. Recognize growth comes outside your comfort zone: Understand that true growth happens when we push ourselves beyond what feels safe and familiar.

3. Visualize success and failure: Picture everything going perfectly, but also imagine potential obstacles and failures. Create a list of actionable steps you can take to address and overcome these challenges, increasing your chances of success.

4. Deliver a “Game Day Speech” to yourself: I coached for a lot of years and the words we said to the team before the game started were always so critical and crucial.  I started delivering a Game Day Speech to myself before I walked into environments where I was uncertain or felt Imposter Syndrome.  Today that speech is: "Let's go" and I say it loud and forcefully.

Showing up big for yourself isn't about having all the answers or being the most confident person in the room. It's about embracing your imperfections, facing your fears head-on, and trusting in your ability to make a meaningful impact, no matter how daunting the challenge may seem.

So, the next time you find yourself hesitating at the threshold of opportunity, remember these words: "Let's go." Because the world is waiting for you to show up and shine.

Keep showing up,

Atiba

Weekly Updates

1. Not much was done this week as my wife and I took a big chunk of the week off in Boca Raton.

2. I did have a stage event where Mike Filsaime asked me to explain something graphically that I never had before (but should have). That's the linkage of Shorts to Long form in our Content Theory Strategy. Mapping that journey is something we do instinctively as a team for our clients but not something I have ever mapped out or even taught until Mike asked.

“In a high-trust relationship, you can say the wrong thing, and people will still get your meaning. In a low-trust relationship, you can be very measured, even precise, and they’ll still misinterpret you.”
― Stephen M.R. Covey

I host dinners with my friends in every city I visit—a night of good food and networking with great people, aimed at making connections and meeting individuals who might have solutions to your most challenging problems.

Join us this July in Phoenix, Los Angeles, and San Diego. Don't miss out on this opportunity to connect, share ideas, and enjoy a fantastic meal!

A great guy and a genuine heart!

It was during an event when I fell ill, and Ben, noticing my discomfort, immediately offered his support. "Dude, you need some of our gut health and immune-boosting supplements," he said, promising to send them to me.

But what truly impressed me was Ben's determination. Knowing I was heading to another event, he arranged for the supplements to be shipped to my next location. Unfortunately, the shipment arrived too late, which honestly became a monetary setback for Ben since he covered the shipping and product cost himself. But Ben didn't give up; he sent another package directly to my home. This act of kindness wasn't an isolated incident — Ben's gracious generosity is a consistent part of who he is.

Ben and his wife run a successful supplement brand, Rachel’s Tea but it goes beyond that. Their true passion lies in supporting couples in business. They are dedicated to helping couples thrive as partners in both life and business, aiming to make a positive impact on the world. I'm fortunate to call Ben and his wife my friends, and their genuine care for others makes them truly special.

Visioneering