I spoke on the stage and felt a sinking wave of self-doubt wash over me.

Yup, just recently, I found myself in that exact situation. I had just finished a presentation at a mastermind event, and instead of feeling accomplished, I felt terrible. The audience, filled with my ideal customers and even some of my actual clients, didn’t seem to resonate with my message. The doubt hit me hard. 

Was I even capable of adding value to this audience?

We’ve all been there. We second-guess our performance, worrying that we didn’t communicate effectively or that our efforts were not good enough. It’s a universal experience that leaves us questioning our worth and capabilities. 

In my case, the stakes were high. I needed to make a good impression on a crowd that was crucial for my business. The pressure to perform was immense, and not meeting my expectations led to a spiral of doubt and anxiety. And guess what? I had to be back on stage the very next day.

Too often, we let doubt fester and grow. It’s like a seed that, once planted, can take root and overshadow our achievements. I’ve experienced this spiral firsthand. My mind raced through a litany of negative thoughts, questioning my abilities and my worth. It’s a dark place where many of us find ourselves after a perceived failure.

Doubt can be paralyzing. It can prevent us from taking the necessary steps to improve and move forward. The key is not to let it linger. 

But how do we stop this negative cycle?

Here’s what I’ve learned: doubts can be reframed. They can either hold us back or propel us forward. The first step is to recognize and evaluate our feelings honestly.

Step 1: Honest Evaluation. After my first presentation, I didn’t have much time to dwell on my feelings. I had to face the same audience again the next day. This forced me to quickly assess what went wrong. I asked myself critical questions:

- What am I feeling?

- What reactions from the audience made me feel this way?

- What actions did I take that led to these reactions?

By removing the emotion from the situation, I could see things more clearly. The emotional fog often makes problems seem worse than they are. It's essential to look at the facts objectively.

Step 2: Objective Analysis. I remembered a friend who had a similar experience. She was teaching a class and received some negative feedback from a few students. It felt overwhelming at first, but when we broke it down, we realized it was only a small percentage of the total feedback. 

It’s easy to let a few negative comments overshadow the positive ones, but this skewed perspective can be damaging. In my friend's case, out of 20 students, only a couple gave negative feedback each day over a few days. When viewed objectively, the majority of the class was satisfied.

Step 3: Learn and Adapt. From my friend's story and my own experience, I learned the importance of distinguishing between constructive criticism and overwhelming doubt. If there’s consistent feedback pointing to an issue, it's an opportunity to improve. But if it's just a few isolated comments, it’s crucial not to let them derail your confidence.

For me, understanding where I disconnected from the audience allowed me to adjust my approach. I realized that my message needed to be clearer and more aligned with their expectations. The next day, I applied these insights, and the feedback was overwhelmingly positive. “Wow, that’s the best one we’ve ever seen you do,” they said.

We can’t change what happened yesterday, but we can learn from it. Yesterday prepares us for today if we are willing to extract the lessons from our experiences.

Doubt will always be a part of our journey, but it doesn’t have to define us. By addressing it head-on, evaluating our actions honestly, and learning from our experiences, we can transform doubt into a stepping stone for growth.

Next time you feel that familiar pang of uncertainty, remember this: it's not about never making mistakes. It's about how quickly and effectively you can learn from them and come back stronger.

So, let’s not dwell in the shadows of doubt. Instead, let's use it as a catalyst to ignite our growth and drive us forward. Because the best performances are often born from our deepest struggles and our willingness to learn and adapt.

Until next time, 

Atiba

Weekly Updates🎉

1. Not much to share....on college tours this week with my daughter and hosting Dinner with friends!

“One of the laws of consciousness is: We are only subject to a negative thought or belief if we consciously say that it applies to us. We are free to choose not to buy into a negative belief system.”

― David R. Hawkins

I host dinners with my friends in every city I visit—a night of good food and networking with great people, aimed at making connections and meeting individuals who might have solutions to your most challenging problems.

We had an amazing time connecting, sharing ideas, and enjoying fantastic meals in Phoenix (July 17) and Los Angeles (July 22). Don't miss out on the upcoming opportunity to join us in San Diego (July 25)!

About 18 months ago, I walked into an event expecting to know no one. Those are uncomfortable situations for me and as I walked into this particular event, Brian was the first person I met. Luckily for me, Brian knew me… he had seen me at Traffic and Conversion. Honestly, it was not that Brian knew me that made me feel comfortable it was that Brian WANTED to know me and who I was.

I quickly learned that Brian is The Guy in The Vest. That’s his signature brand look and he should really get a dot com with that name.

Shortly after the event, Brian and I scheduled a follow-up call. The call was the same day I had an important meeting with a potential client. I casually mentioned that in our call, and Brian asked if we could find a photo of the person online…. this is where Brian’s skill shines!

Brian is a master of understanding HOW to communicate with people based on cues from their faces. He has been trained and perfecting this art for over a decade. This is not some cheap parlor trick y’all. There is actual science to this and science as to how your face changes over your life based on situations and beliefs.

Brian shared some crucial points with me on how to communicate with my potential client that helped me land that deal that day.

What I love about Brian is his company Subtleskills. It’s all about helping you learn to communicate better. He is not hoarding this knowledge for himself. He is sharing.

The IG reels Brian and I have created together are some of my best-performing reels.

Visioneering👓